If perfectionism is a form of hunger (for approval/validation, reflection/attention, control/certainty), then how can we satisfy this hunger, how can we feed it?? The answer is: with the bread of acceptance!
Borrowing the language of the?four noble truths from Buddhist psychology, I offer the following treatment (?self-feeding?) plan:
- The experience of reality as imperfect (i.e. dissatisfaction with reality the way it is) exists and is inevitable;
- The source of this suffering/dissatisfaction is a desire or an expectation for reality to be different from how it is, to be better than it is; i.e. the source of perfectionistic suffering is the striving to perfect what is;
- Perfectionism can be helped through the acceptance of the reality for what it is, in its perfectly imperfect suchness.
How?s this acceptance achieved?
The short answer is: by a) redefining the meaning of perfection and b) through mindful living (as a consciously-chosen philosophy of living) that allows you to recognize the ordinary perfection of what is.
The long answer is a curriculum of experiential precedents that I detailed in my 2010 book, Present Perfect.
As for redefining perfection, it is a matter of two paths ? one dualistic and the other non-dualistic.? The first, dualistic,? strategy allows you to shift from a state-view of perfection to a dynamic/process-view of perfection ? a relatively straightforward process that is easy to read about but requires a certain experiential homework to sink in.? The second, non-dualistic, strategy for reframing perfection is more nuanced: it completely collapses the distinction between perfection and imperfection.
Related: 3 Types of Perfectionistic Hunger
Resources: Present Perfect: a Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go (Somov, New Harbinger, 2010)
www.eatingthemoment.com
www.drsomov.com
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photo credit: dorofofoto
Marla Somova, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in private practice and an Assistant Professor of Psychology and Counseling at Carlow University in Pittsburgh, PA. She is the co-author of "Smoke Free Smoke Break" (2011).
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????Last reviewed: 17 Nov 2012
APA Reference
Somov, P. (2012). Buddhist Psychology Treatment Plan for Perfectionism. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 17, 2012, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindful-living/2012/11/buddhist-psychology-treatment-plan-for-perfectionism/
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